#30days30stories: 59 times my cat ruled the internet

It’s been a while since I posted anything and even more so since I attempted to complete the #30days30stories challenge.

Excuses include a new job, laziness and Mad Men, however, I still maintain that if I write 30 stories over the course of 30 days, technically I’ve done what I set out to do.

And with that in mind, I give you a story about an animal, or more specifically, my cat.

To borrow a phrase from Troy McClure, you may remember Nino from such places as Twitter or Instagram. So popular is he among a select group of people that often when I am introduced to friends of friends, they tend to say, “Oh I’ve seen your cat on the internet.”

It’s true. He’s very photogenic. When he was a kitten, Facebook all but imploded.
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I mean, just look at him:

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He’s a natural in front of the camera. He downright nailed ‘whimsical’ that one time he went outside.

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And even now that he’s two-years-old, he’s still pretty darn handsome:
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But anyone who’s had the pleasure of meeting Nino knows that he’s….special:

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We’re talking really special:
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I mean, look at those eyes:

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Actually MAD:

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A direct result of which means I’ve not had an uninterrupted night’s sleep since 2013:

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Because he requires attention 24/7:

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So much so that I can’t remember the last time I peed alone:

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Or bathed:

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That myth that cats don’t like water? Not true:

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But at least I have a towel guard:

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Which is fine except for when he stares. The perv:

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I can’t even brush my teeth in peace:

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In fact, all sinks are basically off limits:

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Nothing is sacred:

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Not even the roasting tin:

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You think that’s weird?:

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You’ve seen nothing:

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Nothing:

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Convenient is his middle name:

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He never gets in the way:

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Or climbs into things he shouldn’t:

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Sure, you can tell him not to sit in the fridge:

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But does this face look like it GAF?:

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Literally, not one bit:

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I’ve never seen a cat give less of a shit:

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And if you try to make him, he will cut you:

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Occasionally he will reveal his softer side:

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For instance, he’s got a new buddy:

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And he definitely love his momma:

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But y’know what he loves more?

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Yep:

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You guessed it:

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Boxes:

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Sometimes bags:

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Occasionally the radiator:

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But mainly boxes:

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Especially the ones he can ‘hide’ in:

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On the rare occasion there are no boxes, there are rugs:

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Cupboards also work:

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And drawers:

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But boxes are where it’s at:

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When he’s not chilling in a cardboard cube, he can be found watching TV:

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He bloody loves a bit of The Good Wife:

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Unless there’s a good film on:

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Or a book to read. He’s cultured like that:

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In fact, he’s pretty good company:

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Except when I’m trying to do yoga:

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Or work:

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Cause, duh, laptops are an invitation to cuddle:

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EVEN AS I WRITE THIS POST:

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Because it’s all about him:

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He is the master:

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And I am his bitch:

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I mean, seriously:

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What a dude:

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