#30days30stories: A Story About Loss

18th May

An email pops up from a buyer called eleanorandreagrunday:

Hi I will give you £5 for this.

I’ve listed the jug for £9 and it’s a T. G. Green, so it’s a bargain even at that price. And also I’m not a fan of that demanding tone. This is eBay not the stock exchange; I politely decline.

Hi there, thanks for your query but I think I’ll let the auction run its course and see how much I can get for it. Many thanks!

Message from eleanorandreagrunday:

I can collect tomorrow

I’m not sure why eleanorandreagrundy thinks that’s going to make a difference but I decide the best course of action is probably just to ignore her.

19th May

A notification flashes on my phone.

New items from your saved searches have been listed. Thanks for the kindly reminder eBay robot! You are quite the temptress.

I’m scrolling through the list when a notification interrupts the feed, prompting me to either read or close it.  

New message from eleanorandreagrunday, it trills.

I’m interested in the bowl, the eggcup and the jug, I will give you £12 and can collection in the morning.

I could do with the money but her dictatorial tone and poor grammar is really starting to get on my tits. Who does she think she is?!

Hi, I reply, Sorry but I’m not available tomorrow. Thanks

Reply from eleanorandreagrunday: I can only do tomorrow

Aw that’s too bad, I want to write. Instead, I ignore her in the hope she’ll go away.

20th May

I’m excited. I’ve been looking for this record for years and there’s finally one listed and it’s ending in 14 minutes.

I am poised to swoop in at the last minute and win. I repeatedly refresh the listing to make sure I’m still the highest bidder and feel confident I’m the only person that could possibly want something this niche.

Message from eleanorandreagrunday:

Hi I will give you £6 for the jug

I bash out a reply, keenly aware that the auction has eight minutes left. I don’t have time for this woman’s relentless demands.

Sorry but I’m not selling it for less than £9. I will do a buy it now at that price but that’s my best offer.

I wonder if eleanorandreagrunday is a pensioner who’s only recently discovered eBay and doesn’t quite know the etiquette. Either way, I’m starting to dread her name appearing on my screen.    

I return to the listing and see that I’ve been outbid by 50p. There’s six minutes to go but it’s OK, I’ve got time to increase my bid. I bide my time now that there’s competition. I’ll increase it in the last 30 seconds by some random amount.

Message from eleanorandreagrunday:

I will give you £9 for the jug and the bowl. I can collect tomorrow what is your address

Two minutes to go. She can wait until I’ve won this record. I don’t want her replying so close to the end of the auction. I increase my bid by to £7.62.

Ten seconds to go.

Message from eleanorandreagrunday:

What’s your address???  

Argh! I scream, jabbing at the cancel button just in time to see the message, “You’ve been outbid”. I’ve lost – I am the victim of an auction sniper and it’s all eleanorandreafuckinggrunday’s fault.  

I hit reply.

No. You won’t pick it up tomorrow. You can pick it up when it’s convenient for me and tomorrow isn’t. And also, I would really rather appreciate it if you would stop being so aggressive!!

21st May

The jug goes for £13 at auction and I do not sell it to eleanorandreagrunday. In fact, I never hear from her again and it was a pleasure not doing business with her.


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